Bad start for a new year

It's obligatory to post mundane stuff, especially after going through killer exams. They were horrible. Much more difficult than I thought they would be. I am truly an idiot for underestimating things to such an extent. I think I'll pass in all. No wait, I HOPE I'll pass. The hell with first year Engineering.

How was my new year? Terrible. I was up working on complex numbers and watching Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith in between. Ha.
And how was my birthday (on 4th Jan)? Equally depressing. There's not much to say when you have to spend the day doing chemistry and 3 hours trying to attempt a very harrowing paper. You come back home and there's no one to keep you company except friends who call (which I appreciate to the core. I love my friends!). Your birthday cake arrives at 10pm when there's no enthusiasm left. Yes, it was a fabulous day. A prefect 18th birthday.
I know I'm probably a bitch to even consider these petty things, but I can't help it.

I think I've changed over these 2-3 years in so many ways. I (sort of) know who I am and I love it. I think I was insecure and unsure of myself. I always needed approval of what I was doing just to have a clean conscious.
I'm much more independent now. I don't feel the need to rely or stick to people or even take sides. I just do what I feel is right.
My pessimism hasn't changed though. For every possible situation I only think of countless possible ways in which it can go wrong and fall apart. This has helped me in preventing some very disastrous things but I'm afraid that it might become my permanent mindset to think negative all the time. That's not healthy, is it?
I think I have a lot more trouble containing rage now. I don't turn the house upside down but I think it shows on my face when I'm angry or upset or I just start swearing more easily.
In certain ways I've taken a step backwards. I don't talk too openly now. I'm much more reserved now. It takes time for me to get used to people. I'm cautious about the friends I make. But it's made me more aware and self reliant. Is that good or bad? Maybe I should just stop contemplating and just let it be.
I think I've stopped expecting too much from people because it hurts so much when they don't reach that expectation. I never really blamed anyone else for this. I now it's entirely about the way I choose to see things. I've become more forgiving. I don't really hold grudges anymore. I just don't have the will to put up with that kind of hatred.