Saturday, December 9, 2006

My imperfections astound me

I not good at accepting situations the way they are. I'm also not good at handling failure. I go down that dark path and it just gets deeper and deeper. It's like injuring yourself. I cut myself with the blame and guilt until there's nothing left to feel about it. I've dealt with this a lot in the past year and I've realized it's very painful for me. My whole attitude and nature changes. I'm whiny, more demanding, a real pain in the ass. I can never seem to move forward. The more I dwell on it, the more it hurts.
I've experienced the consequences of this too. It's like an endless cycle. I've tried very hard to break away from it.
I've almost been successful. I don't want to go there again. I just don't. I want a change.

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